It has been almost 2 years since you decided to let go of my hands. I guess I knew it coming all along. It was bound to happen one day or the other. I felt the cracks in our relation crop up and widen with time. But we did try, didn’t we?
I know it wasn’t your fault but when I think of it I don’t see mine either. It wasn’t a mutual decision though. I wanted to tag along just like a weighed burden on your shoulders but you didn’t have the strength to carry them anymore.
We all make mistakes along the way but the best part is that we learn from them and rebound strong and better. I never got the chance to correct my wrongs, but then I don’t want you to consider this as my apology. I have felt guilt, the insides of my existence have burned to an extent beyond comprehension and being honest I did try to abhor you, but I couldn’t do it. The fear of invectives and a perpetual backlash have often bound my steps.
It never ceases to amaze me when I think as to how a beautiful relation transmogrifies into something bitter, something chimerical for the ones who are so much into each other. My words time and again were a window to your soul as you often said, and I feel no qualms in saying that perhaps I have known you unlike others and vice versa.
I do miss you today, much like the same way I did when you forgot to message me for an hour or so. A phlegmatic turned into a fervent whilst the walls around him crumbled into oblivion. Two years down the road, while writing this today, pondering upon, I don’t know why we went apart, I can’t think of why we came together in the first place, I find no reasons to mention as to how it all worked out for us. All I know is that you are the last thing that crosses my mind when I lay my head on the pillow and retire for the night. The macabre of emotions dance around every day, moment after moment, whilst you are somewhere-nowhere in your own world. Much like a pluviophile loves the petrichor I rejoice at the mention of your name.
I remember you… I remember us… but you my love, are long gone… Nonetheless, just know that I have loved you while I gently fade into nothingness.
But nay, the rain will fall yet again… One day I know… and drench me in the waters once more….
“Some days I wake up and think of all the men before me and the fools they were to ever let you slip through their fingers. They were damn fools you know? They were the type of people to watch the rain through their windows and say “Don’t you just love the rain.” I, on the other hand, was the only one to watch it pour outside, take my shoes off, and anxiously and bravely, go dance madly in you.” – Christopher Poindexter
– Anas Ahmad.